Klabautamann
Numbered



1. Snow

I thought of you so many times
What you do and where you are
Memories slowly fading through the years

You never said that much
But I believed your smile, believed you
Everybody finds something
If they're looking for it

If you could start again
What difference would it make

The future was now, you said
The future was now

He asked me if I remembered
He said it snowed that night

It snowed from the Baltics
To the mountains but noone could see

The future was now, you said
The past came crawling from behind
The future was now

If you could start again
What difference would it make
If you could start again
What could you change

Time has worn out another man
Time has worn out another family
Time has worn out another life
You were only tired of the wait

I am looking out my window
Night has fallen over Europe
Once we believed in our future
But now it snows again

And when I think of you
It starts to snow again
And every time it does
A little bit dies
Of me


2. Changed

The world has changed again
Ten times is not enough

You are left behind again

From somewhere to something
It ne'er stops running away

A child is born
You have seen the eyes before
You have heard the words before
But you would blame her still
You still blame me and everybody else
The past is a place
Too painful and too dark
Is the past

You are left behind again

Tell me now where you want to go
Tell me now if you know

Not everybody gets what they deserve
Some are too afraid and some are too confused
Some are too afraid to be lonely
Our past is running out of later
We are running out of later now


3. Daydream

I fear to pierce my skin
I try to lose myself

I need the pain
It gives me hope

Too many strings keeping tune
Dissonant self infliction

I need the pain
It gives me hope

I need the pain
It gives me hope

Cutting lines or cutting veins
In a daydream I reside

I need your grief, I need my share
I feel the loneliness I see

All the while acceptance lingers
Though it never satisfies
An overdose of projection
My life is not enough for me


4. Conflicted

Did I, did I become?
All my, my memories
All the, the roles I was to play

Have I, have I once dreamed?
Beyond, beyond the night
Enough to, to take my life away

Should I, should I confess?
Silent, unspoken truths
Secret urges that I embrace

Will I, will I fulfil?
Another one's lifetime
With all the, the demons that I face

Look at me and tell me
Is this really who you are?
I am but a reflection
Every doubt another riddle
Who am I supposed to be?
Am I asking the right questions?
Look at me and tell me
Is this really who I am?

Shall I, shall I reclaim?
Am I to follow you?
Leading myself towards defeat

Can I, can I push back?
As they pull hard on me
Shards of resentment at my feet

Can I, can I convince?
My final judgment now
Before I draw just one last breath

Who is, who is to live?
Maybe tomorrow still?
For I am birth and I am death

Look at me and tell me
Is this really who you are?
I am but a reflection
Every doubt another riddle
Who am I supposed to be?
Am I asking the right questions?
Look at me and tell me
Is this really who I am?


5. Pretending

When midnight comes
And she is asleep
I get up again

Despair crawls in again
I am weeping quietly in this empty room
One day you'll realize that everything hurts

Dark light shines through those cracks
Somebody is in Paris now
Drinking expensive wines
Drinking expensive wines

But I'm still waiting
Waiting for tomorrow
Waiting for a chance
And I think of all the flowers

I don’t want to see
I don’t want to feel
I don’t want to owe
I want something

We are the men
Who cannot talk
We are the men
Who cannot sleep
We are the men
Who cannot change
Desperate enough to cry

From the villages to the city
Coast to coast
Fear to despair
From the beginning to the end
We know we are all the same

We are the men
We are the fear
We are the end
We are the misery

And she's sleeping next door


6. Holding On

And still I am holding on
To the thought
That someone's waiting there

Every breath that I'm taking now
Might be the last
Just let me go, don't hold me back

When will we meet again
Oh, will we meet again
When will we talk again
Will we laugh again

Just rip my heart apart
So I don't have to feel you go
Cut out my eyes
So the tears don't run no more

When will we meet again
Oh, will we meet again
When will we talk again
Will we laugh again

I'm still awaiting this darkness
The fear of the unknown awaits
Silence is what I'm afraid of
Just tell me I won't be alone

And still I am holding on
To the thought
That someone's waiting there

Every breath that I'm taking now
Might be the last
Just let me go, don't hold me back


7. Numbered

Just so many moments
Have you counted?
Just so many questions
Have you counted?
Just so many faces
Have you counted?

We all are numbered
Never thought we'd get this far?
But here we are

Just so many chances
Have you counted?
Just so many losses
Have you counted?

We all are numbered
Never thought we'd get this far?
But here we are

Just so many secrets
Have you counted?
Just so many memories
Have you counted?


8. Felt Everything

The wind has left scars
That cover your face
The sands of time have
Weakened your legs

You've seen everything, felt everything
No more dreams left to fulfill
What once was a strong bone
Now there's left only dry wood
That holds your flesh

Paranoid mind
Loss of control
Your trembling hands
Loosing it all

Awaiting the end
But there's no fear
Longing for death
Salvation is near

Who is it I see
What's left there of me
Ghost of the past
A rotting tree

Almost to weak
To stand at all
But eyes full of strength
You could take it all

You've seen everything, felt everything
No more dreams left to fulfill
What once was a strong bone
Now there's left only dry wood
That holds your flesh

Memories coming to mind
Of childhood and of those who have died

The mirror has cracked
You smashed it apart
Ashamed of yourself
You retreat to the dark

You've seen everything, felt everything
No more dreams left to fulfill
What once was a strong bone
Now there's left only dry wood
That holds your flesh


9. Gone

The last morn came silent
Fragile shine, faint craving
As I walk serenely
I breathe in deeply

When I’m gone
Sun will shine again
When I’m gone
Time will carry on

When I’m gone
Sun will shine again
When I’m gone
Time will carry on

Last year, I was searching
Last year, I was strong
Last year, I was dreaming
Last year, I was free

I don’t know for certain
What will be tomorrow
As I walk serenely
I breathe in deeply



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