Pallbearer
Forgotten Days
1. Forgotten Days
Dark clouds move closer
At the edges of my mind
Obscuring
Consuming my perception of time
So strange, the sensation
I’ve come to know it well
It comes with sinister negation
To erase my identity
Is this insanity?
Will they come to take me?
Who can I trust with tomorrow?
I can barely trust myself
These years, my lifetime
Everything I am
I can feel them slipping away
Like sand through my fragile hands
Oh god, how can you let this happen to me?
Once strong
Now I’m frail
With a haze around my mind
Is this insanity?
Will they come to take me?
Who can I trust with tomorrow?
I’ve got no trust in myself
Through time
I’m trapped inside
A prisoner, my memories lie
Times have changed
And so have I
All these faces, I don’t recognize
Is this insanity?
Will they come to take me?
Who can I trust with tomorrow?
I no longer know myself
2. Riverbed
I wore away, as years washed by
Like a stone in any riverbed to find
But I am flesh and bone, awaiting peace of mind
I've lost myself in thoughts of days behind
Distant memories
Form constellations of despair
Guiding through the state of disrepair
Illuminate
All the hurts that have accrued
Unlock the cage, holding back the truth
I'll beg to start anew
If it will cauterize the wounds
Damn these rivers of bad blood
And quell the raging of the flood
Worn away, the years crawl by
As arbors wither slow, becoming deserts, dry
Along with flesh and bone, beset on every side
By misery, borne within the mind
Distant silhouettes
Nearly all of them obscured
Exposed to be
The damages incurred
I'll beg to start anew
If it will cauterize the wounds
Damn these rivers of bad blood
And quell the raging of the flood
Laying down in the riverbed
Counting the words that I've never said to you
Their numbers swell so far above my head
Wide-open eyes drink in torrential red
As I drown
3. Stasis
Ain't it hard
To find a new start
When you don't really want
To change
Waste away
Clone your moments
Every day you know
Things will stay the same
This place
So hollow
Seems like a prison cell to me
A bed of lies
The place where you hide
Is that enough
To get you by?
Your face
So hollow
Do you need a reason to smile again
Your life is worth to much
To waste the whole thing
Wasted and wrapped up
In yourself
Stasis
Stasis
Stasis
Living in stasis
4. Silver Wings
Silver wings circle
Portents of a strange past returning
Over bones of crippled behemoths
I tread through the mire
In the mists, I can feel it
Looming as a vulture
Eyes fall upon me
Searching, shifting in judgement
So small, so weak...
Pale in the dimming light of æons
Near the river, I see it
Jet black and silent
Approaching, I'm diminished
By mysteries of 10,000 ages
I cannot remember
From where I came
And I cannot remember
Who I once was
The slow march of time
Turns even the greatest of triumphs
To nothing
Nothing more than sand
Washed into the infinite sea
5. The Quicksand of Existing
With every step I take
I test the ground before
Since I know
That each day
Uncovers ways to suffocate myself
I just might breathe my last
Before I’ve sunken down
My uncertain sight
Could mask the ground before
Hence, I know
That each night
Presents a chance to paralyze myself
When poison clouds the past
Before I’ve sunken down
I know I’m called
To sink below
By siren song, singing:
“Let your struggle go
And fill your lungs
Up to the brim
Join in refrains
Of our viscous hymn”
As long as I’m alive
The darker days will always multiply
Ad nauseam, until I’ve sunken down
And down
Soon I’ll be enveloped by the ground
Upon my presence here:
Alight a quicksand shroud
When I’m sunken down
6. Vengeance & Ruination
Under the shadows of high walls
The condemned is led blindly to doom
In the place where blood falls
And fills the earth, damnation blooms
Carve away dignity
Piece by piece
For all to see
Stripped and flayed
Humanity
For the lost
No sympathy
Cries for deliverance
Echo through halls of pain
Vengeance and ruination
Flows in crimson rivers
The agony of castigation
An offering to the true god death delivered
Carve away dignity
Piece by piece
For all to see
Stripped and flayed
Humanity
For the lost
No sympathy
Cries for deliverance
Echo through halls of pain
This ritual of violence
Yet another link in the never-ending chain
Eye for an eye
Crime for a crime
The true measure of power
The ability to inflict cruelty with impunity
Cries for deliverance
Echo through halls of pain
This ritual of violence
Yet another link in the never-ending chain
7. Rite of Passage
Feasting eyes on wreckage that surrounds me
Makes me wonder if I ever learned to live
I have such little recognition
Of what I was when I could still see your face
The many flaws, of my own admission;
A void supreme, I can’t pull away
This rite of passage
It took all of these years, but now I finally know
One question to ask of you
Did part of me die while watching you go?
In the soul, the frailty is seated
Gnawing doubts that I ever learned to live
Look upon the days since you’ve departed
My grand accounting of errances made
This ache, incessant once it started
As I espouse a meditation on decay
This rite of passage
It took all of these years, but now I finally know
One question to ask of you
Did part of me die while watching you go?
This rite of passage
It took all of these years, but now I’m finally shown
The cavity that grows within
Vacant space that was left a lifetime ago
Not fully alive
Just a shadow to be
Will I be revived?
Or transfixed in between
8. Caledonia
I wasn't prepared to face the final hues
To watch the color fade and let go of my youth
Walls were built to hide it all from view
Still standing now, still as resolute
I could hardly muster a goodbye
Pleading for numbness to arrive
Though it meant I'd never fully heal
I lost the will to let myself feel
Caledonia
I wasn't aware
That fate would plunge the knife
I'd watched the color fade out from joys of life
Walls of guilt can hide it all from view
I try to tear them down
Still they are renewed
I can hardly muster a goodbye
And I'm pleading for numbness to survive
Every day when clarity reveals
I've lost the will to let myself heal
Caledonia
From the depths of your being
One last moment awake
From the depths of my being
I've never ceased to escape
From Caledonia (From Caledonia)
Caledonia (Caledonia)
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