Atrocity Hallucinations 1. Deep In Your Subconscious [Music: Roderer] [Lyrics: Krull] Lying there in a small crib Naked and innocent Just loosing my virginity Only four years old A menacing man above me He's my own father! My legs and arms are limp Crushed by confusion Lascivious eyes stare at me I've never seen before Musty smell in the air Diffusing body odor Feeling like a pig ravished and abused Praying for my god The old man with the long white beard A hurting abdomen, a grieved soul Tears are running from my eyes I don't know what's going on Cries, screams of despair Fathers slaps in my face "Shut up little cunt" Feeling like a pig Ravished and abused Praying for my god The old man with the long white beard [Lead: Roderer] Satisfaction - father is groaning Humiliation - treated like a shitheap Observation - my brain is empty Anxiety - father, never do it again! Atrocity -fear in my eyes Inbreeding - my body is deseased Shame - mother won't be told Some human beings are repulsive animals [Lead: Roderer] After a while - the pain is over Disgusting - full of serous mucus Genitals - blood runs from my legs An ugly smile - my father leaves the room Misery - I'm feeling sick Depression - I clasp Teddy in my arms Loneliness - nobody who helps Some human beings are repulsive animals First you tried to repress Then you established: This nightmare will ever be Deep in your subconscious 2. Life Is A Long And Silent River [Music: Roderer/Klasen] [Lyrics: Krull] Ten more summers pleased the land Ten more winters numbed the landscape Time is running quickly But in my brain a terrible dream never ends I try to escape from my past I'm damned to suffer a whole life! Life is a long and silent river She grows up - shy, alone and sad Other kids - kept away from her Her mother - was divorced long ago No more love - only alcohol Life is a long and silent river No real friends - for the little girl Nobody understands - what's wrong with her Her classmates - cheat her all the time The silent girl - is discriminated against [Lead: Scharf] Life is a long and silent river [Lead: Roderer] People are shouting at me "You stupid girl! How strange you are - never spoke!" I try to escape from my past I'm damned to suffer a whole life! [Lead: Roderer] 3. Fatal Step [Music: Roderer] [Lyrics: Krull] I meet a girl - she seems ok She wants to show me all her friends But what I can see - I known before Their red eyes - the same as my Ma's! The invite me to drink and to take some pills "You should smoke a pot of hash, too!" I try to refuse but I wanna integrate "Don't be a coward - just become our friend!" "YOU!" "Just become our friend!" "TRY!" "Then you feel like us!" "TO BE!" "Without any sorrows!" "FREE!" "Without any restraint!" I want to know these miracle drugs I want to taste the feelings of them Beautiful things - in her mind Thousands of colors - wonderful sounds Give me some more! [Lead: Roderer] This is your first step to your death! 4. Hallucinations [Music: Roderer] [Lyrics: Krull] [Lead: Roderer] Here I got it in my hands The stuff which creates dreams So I smoke it, I consume it to get free, to feel well I will be in sweet dreams I will be stoned again You feel it deep inside Is it wrong or is it right? All the things that you feel Are not true are not real Life is easy, life is carefree Hallucinations! Fuck reality, now I'm free Doing what I want, only having fun So I smoke it, I consume it To get free, to feel well Life is easy, life is carefree Hallucinations! [Lead: Rodere] I'm flying over, I think clear Being suspended, heave is near ...Or is it hell? No one can stop me, this is my time Be careful, guys, here comes me self-confident, you will see The drug inside me, gives me energy Gives me power, let me win No more failures, the world is mine! [Lead: Roderer] I will be in sweet dreams All the things that you feel Are not true, are not real Life is easy, life is carefree Hallucinations! 5. Defeated Intellect [Music: Roderer/Schwarz/Klasen/Scharf] [Lyrics: Krull] I left cocaine - going insane my first time - I want to try I lock the door - I'm really sure Now I'm alone - the needle in my skin Defeated intellect - I lost my mind I know all dangers - but I need more I inject - now it's too late Fantastic feelings - coming to ecstasy Lying in the room - she closes her eyes Fast raving blood - in her veins Falling apart - total dilirium Point of no return - shall overcome [Lead: Roderer] There is no serious reason To give up my decision I live my life today I give a shit on any corollary Step by step you go on, leave your life in death's hand Your body is shaking, freezing, perspiring Opening your eyes, having reveries Walls look like ice, cold and glinting The shining sun, reflected lights Senseless thoughts, nameless words You cannot act, you have no will Controlled by poison, suddenly you scream Father returns: "Get on your knees!" [Lead: Roderer] Breathing heavily - oppressive atmosphere Whispering voices - in your ears Having red eyeballs - and a dry tongue attack of giddiness - head is going round People on the street - walk, rush and speak Eat, drink, consume - money takes control They don't care - about you No time to think - no help for you 6. Abyss Of Addiction [Music: Roderer] [Lyrics: Krull] In the dark night, pleasures arise Searching for lust, thirst for sex The oldest business, in this world Shows itself, a whole night long She stands here - waiting for - another John One more night - it doesn't count - anyway No way out - a stranded girl - in red light Expensive stuff - let you work - at this place Seductive syringe Those old false friends - they're gone - left her alone A big car stops - an old man inside - ugly and fat "How much is it?" - "I'm rich" - "So let's go!" The next morning - you'll buy - another ration [Lead: Roderer] Having no hope - my time is timeless Worthless bulk - only for earning money Used to be - a MANhandled person Lost the pride - of a lighthearted girl Seductive syringe Abyss of Addiction ABYSS OF ADDICTION! 7. Hold Out (To The End) [Music: Roderer/Klasen] [Lyrics: Krull] "You are here again At this wicked place Men look at you They want to pay the price" Somebody speaks to you He wants to set you free He wants to be your real friend "It's time for you to leave" He is an addict, too He needs the same help Both have the same aim To escape from this hell After a few years They want to come together Make a withdrawal treatment And encourage each other: Hold out to the end Resist ...and live After midnight you hear screams Addicted bodies wnat their rations Painful days, sleepless nights Always greedy of more pills, of more pills [Lead: Roderer] Take care of your life After one week without H They're thinkning it's all over Having new hope and courage Time to leave their dirty flat, dirty flat! One new man is born One new girl is born Death can wait for them Now they wanna live! Full of happiness Both are careless Going out of the flat To walk down the streets [Lead: Roderer] She reads the newspaper of today Another guy died by an overdose But new victims are ready to die Smiling faces of the big bosses These rich, powerful, common men Making business, dealing death She is shocked by reality He is going out with "old friends" Late in the night The girl is coming home After closing the door She looks to the ground The boy is lying there One paper in the hand: "I couldn't still resist But you must go on: Hold out to the end Resist ...and live!" Hold out! 8. Last Temptation [Music: Roderer] [Lyrics: Krull] [Lead: Roderer] Shuddering night, empty strets, a cat cries a barking dog, one little girl on her way to eternity In her hand, a plastic bag, one cigarette To calm down, a sad face Lost her friend, her hopefulness Eyes full of tears, but have no fear, no hope Senseless life, no escape Only white powder, which could help Arteries are craving, head is exploding Thoughts are running, hands are shivring Nerves go crazy, stomach is vibrating [Lead: Roderer] A gloomy station, one toilet room Ugly smell, dirty walls Drunken men, horrible sluts Hey, little girl, go away! A candle is burning, to cook the stuff The spoon is filled, with deadly fluid Syringe is fixed, to shoot inside In her young flesh The neal forces one's way The poison spreads in blood Runs from body in head Pain ache let you suffer Drug creates a horror trip You see disturbing visions You go out of your mind [Lead: Roderer] Shuddering night, empty strets, a cat cries a barking dog, one little girl on her way to eternity On the ground, this little girl, one syringe Full of smut, cold body Lost all love, in her world [Lead: Roderer] You wanted, to stop it, forget it It should be, your last time You want to do, then to finish [Lead: Roderer] Last temptation ends one life But who cares? But who cries? Oliver Klasen - bass Mathias Roderer - guitar Alex Krull - vocals Richard Scharf - guitars Michael Schwarz - drums Recorded and Mixed at Morrisound Recording, Tampa, Florida, June/July 1990 Produced by SCOTT BURNS and ATROCITY Mixed by SCOTT BURNS and ATROCITY Engineered by SCOTT BURNS and TOM MORRIS Executive Producer MARKUS STAIGER All songs by ATROCITY Cover illustration by H.R.Giger Work no. 93, "Hommage an S. Beckett I". 100 cm x 80 cm, painted in oil on wood, 1968 H.R. GIGER 1968 Cover concept and ATROCITY logo by Alex Krull photos by Otto, Elke and Wolle. The characters, places and incidents described in "Hallucinations" are the product of Alex Krull's imagination. An resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locations is entirely coicidental. TYPER OF THIS TEXT: Andrew Kugaevskiy