Aphonic Threnody Of Loss and Grief 1. Despondency The world out there is blurring Future collapses and dreams with it There’s no salvation, there’s no tomorrow All out there has been condemned Endlessly falling in the dark And you falling with it Paranoid (paranoid) Depressed (depressed) Mind tormented Nightmares’ nest Despondency eating your world Despair mantle surrounding your soul The world out there is no more Nowhere left to run Facing the truth by staring at the gloom Your eyes blinded by the impending doom Nothing left to say Nothing to scream anymore Voiceless – cries – in your head Begging – for you – to be dead Endless woe Stench – of lifeless – hopelessness 2. Life Stabbed Me Once Again There’s no happiness in this world We try to preserve but we’re just able to destroy Promises are words made of thin air Grains of sand falling away through open fingers Smiles are like salt on wounds, wounds that won’t heal Life has twisted the knife once again Life stabbed me once again While we’re looking for forgiveness Trying to find a meaning in all this You feel those hands you’ve trusted holding you steady And a cold spike piercing your back Life has twisted the knife once again Life has betrayed me once again Promises are fading memories Grains of sand falling away through open fingers There’s no happiness in this world 3. All I've Loved No need to hide anymore Out from the cave I’ve been hidden in for too long... (So don’t) look (look at me like I’m a ghost) like a ghost (Even) there’s nothing (there is nothing still alive where I’m from) where I’m from (Battles) made me stronger (made me stronger day by day) day by day (And there are deeper scars, where you won’t see them) Still tasting blood in my mouth I got used to eating just dust, like gravel grinding my teeth Standing up – standing up – after every clash – after every clash I’ve just found, death all around – death all around [me] Surviving (surviving losses and crying till unconscious) till unconscious (I’m the closest being to nothingness) (I’ve nothing to lose anymore) I’ve emptied myself of all emotions I’ve killed them all deep within (All I’ve loved) (...) I’m the closest being to nothingness I’ve nothing to lose anymore (All I’ve loved is lost) (All I’ve loved is lost) 4. Lies Visions of a living darkness Monsters coming to rape your soul Shadows moving from wall to wall Suffocating prisoners of a deep slumber Colors slowly fading Leaving room for obscure shades of vermillion Patterns like blood, like gore Like tortured corpses hanging from black ropes Sanctuary of terror Horrors away confined Like secrets locked in forgotten closets Dead’s whom life has been denied On wings (on wings) of crows and ravens (of crows and ravens) Traveling towards nothingness Hostage of the flowing of time I cannot distinguish one day or another It’s flowing and I can hear it around me While slowly erases particles of what my eyes feel as reality I thought I had everything a man can wish to have But my hands were empty and my heart was cold I thought my eyes could challenge the sun My blindness is the result of my braveness I thought I could stand over the top of the highest mountain But the fall showed just how fragile my bones were I thought I could survive death and live forever But my carcass is the answer to that dream of eternity And now nothing is left, I don’t have anyone to help me forget How stupidity has been made man How uselessness has been made flesh And voices out there Like moaning of infants separated from the womb And still, I feel my eyes turning blind In an endless mirroring of pain Convulsions make me feel alive But there’s no life because you know it’s just a lie Immortality of the human thoughts Just a stain of ink on white inanimate sheets Just a sequence of sounds Like tales from father to son... Creation of emotions to justify a stillborn life And we keep telling stories To people around us and to ourselves Trying to escape those shades on the walls That suffocating slumber which keeps us prisoners Trying to color the world out there To make it look less miserable of how it really is We keep lying, not to think we are dying 5. Red Spirits in the Water Something is moving escaping my body Powerless, embraced by water like dead by casket ...Water, crystal clear, turning slowly vermilion... ...I feel it... ...I feel it, it’s abandoning me... ...I feel it... I feel it ...Life so dear leaving me there... Life so dear ...leaving me there... While a whole existence is running to attend my death Adrift (adrift), floating while my limbs are turning frozen cold I can see red spirits in the water, putting asunder body and soul Crimson waters, self-judgment altar Scarlet spirits in the water, euthanasia worshipers Electric moons and stars guide my path Watching my crossing from a ceiling-like sky While the last drops are falling I feel I’m stepping where there’s no more chance to say goodbye 6. A Thousand Years Sleep (????) Eyes can’t keep open any longer Nothing there to be seen Needles thrusted through broken gaze, forever blinded Pleasantly crippled and abandoned to darkness Rejecting consciousness to escape an overwhelming truth It’s not painful, it’s like silently falling Like silently falling deep in a thousand years sleep Tragedies out there, and endless despair Longing for a distant home, a place to belong Eyes are too tired to keep watching the world’s decay Better close them forever – no more being awake Like falling in the deep, abandoned while drowning Without fighting back astray, plunging down in A thousand of years of silence, like a corpse in grave of sadness A thousand years of sleep in absolute blackness