Atrox Orgasm 1. Methods of survival At times I'm so preoccupied running I forget paying attention to where I'm going At times I'm so busy reaching ecstacy I forget paying attention to all other needs We've all got our methods of survival These are mine Shoo away the annoying dandelion seeds Chase a katzenjammer violin up a tree Startle the birds so they take off With the entire lake in their feathers At times I'm so busy avoiding trouble I forget paying attention to what I miss out on These everchanging methods of survival I may be too deep into the darkside But I know we need to be a bit naive as well One thing though - how to regain naiveté When already cynical? Have some bittersweets They're good for you Please help yourself to some bittersweets and light refreshments Paper aeroplanes crash into bottles spilling wine On flies hanging around washing their hands Maudlin flies reel all over the table when suddenly A turreen of soup tips over as the cloth woos and stretches for the sheets on the clothes line I need my escapism I'll hold on to it till I learn new methods of survival Somehow somehere sometime it will all be good 2. Flesh city Here where the dead mourn for the living We eat cannibals before they attack We eat cannibals and ask afterwards We can't control our headless horses As the mongrels snap at their feet Masturbating teens round every corner Euphoric with daze and violent with lust The virgin rapes in clumsy manners Claims innocence and yells at his scapecock We constantly move graveward but We ache too much with greed to actually die We practice compulsory revival Of the suicidal Producing child-size armour and straitjackets for kids Lobotomizing angels as leper eats their wings Building drive-thru brothels of glass Aborting alien fetuses with drill Serving fillets of genitals in restaurants Life is but a scream within a scream within a scream 3. Heartquake How I'd love to experience a heartquake But oh so afraid it will end up with a heartache These untimely little deaths Would leave me out of breath Life would flash before my eyes You might become a liability And I a reliability Still I'd know how it feels The absence Is highly present It smothers me Absorbs me like a black hole The absence of longing Fills up time and space Tons and tons of emptiness Weigh upon me You're a bumpkin groping and falling But you're my pumpkin prescious adoring Wish for you to say it First Better to have failed in true love Than never knowing what you long for Better to feel pain Than to feel nothing 4. Burning bridges If you can't cope with the answers don't bother to ask If you can't cope with the sights don't bother to look Once you've seen it you can't make it unseen Once you've heard it you can't make it unheard You just stay ignorant The easier it is to fool you All you'll know is That you just don't know - Relax my intention is absolutely not to tell you that... Lalala I'm not listening - Don't worry I can assure you my intention is not to tell you about... Lalala I can't hear you Don't bother your pretty little head Knowing too much can't be good for you If you can't cope with the knowledge don't bother to learn If you can't cope with the stench don't dother to smell Once you've heard it you can't make it unheard Once you've seen it you can't make it unseen 5. This vigil We've been blind pretending we can see Been as dazed as dazed can be We'd turn up to the light to see what the darkness looks like Let's share this vigil I would sing you a lullaby If I wanted you to fall asleep I would tell the truth If I wanted you to fall from grace I would make you murder me If I wanted you to fall apart 6. Tentacles My tentacles ache This phantom pain is oh so confusing I'm extraneous matter to the world And so estranged Look at me any way you want My components are human and human and human and human Strip me down to humanity And cut me up into human and human and human and human Into atoms of the fragile I'm human I'm human I'm human See I bleed red like you What was that? Thought I heard you cuckoo It may be I speak moron fluently But you may be - if possible - even lamer than me Yeah you could out-moron me anytime We'll both stay with the mooncalves Cause we're both aliens Equally expendable Equally valuable So let's talk moron to moron What's so great about being unique anyway? We all are 7. Secondhand traumas Got me some secondhand traumas They transformed mind into flesh And lead to the untimely death of the child inside Fall asunder... now! And bleed like me, see it's easy Don't want to be the only one to feel this way They say when a wound is deep It hurts the most when it heals Growing inwards in the quick Don't want to build a womb around me Don't want to drown in amniotic fluid Don't want you to say what I want to hear Can't you see or feel at all? Must we turn to such drastic measures? Is suicide attempt the only cry for help you can hear? A hand on a shoulder that writhes away The mnemonics of this play is way to strong Don't want your help but I want to heal Cross my heart I hope you die As you go boohoohoo No hate no more No more bitterness no more Nothing matters anymore I'm not in pain no more 8. Pre-sense If my senses won't come to me I better come to my senses But I can't I'm too scared of being scared Like saving cancer-mice from labs Or half-eaten flies from cobwebs No sense of reality Or of concequence Come come... Oh don't bother I'll just embrace myself And while I'm at it I'll just lift myself up by the hair I'm not here So you've all gathered here To knock some sense into me Go away, can't you see I'm busy Dying of fear of dying¨ - Imagine what the world would be like if everyone were to think like you Well, they don't so shut up Well I've got a candied heart But I'm afraid to use it So what more can I do Than entertain my demons In this comic tragedy called life