Autumnia
...and Your Autumnia
1. Karma Negativa
2. A Moment of Delight
I’m covered with dust and cracks
My smell is repulsive
And I’m devoid of sympathy
My seclusion no longer fits
And your… I’m your… indifference
So, let me die!!!
A moment of delight
The weeping faces of the saints
Let them be devoid of sense…
…all these words
A moment of delight
A church without parish
But a myriad sun will rise
And let my seeds of hope grow!!!
I’m resigned to cure the disease
And your cherish my flowers no more
My poverty has enveloped me
This is the place for our tears
My vice, my passion
My pride, my arrogance
My false, my weak
My delight… and your Autumnia
3. And Many Shining Days Ahead
Today is the day
When you wanted to wake up…
For the first time
You don’t feel this pain, anymore
And there is no dismay in your eyes’ shine
And something is warm inside
And something delicate…
I don’t know what to say
You are smiling… please, hold my hand
…do you feel my hand?
Today is the day
When you wanted to wake up…
Let me share your joy
And so we dreamt about this day
And many shining days ahead…
For the first time
Inside our fragile happiness
One day the pain will leave you
There will be no pain. Can you imagine?
Do you hurt not? Is this true? Is this true?
Keep holding my hand
Because today is the day
All dreams will come true! I promise you!
Just don’t close your eyes!
Please, talk to me!
I want to live…to live so much!!!
4. In Loving Memory of Us
When you will hear my voice
When you will hear this song
When these words shall be stuck inside your heart
I’ll be so far away from your comfort
And you can hear my voice
And nothing but ignored
In loving memory of you
In loving memory of me
When you will hear my voice
When you will hear this song
When these words shall be stuck inside your heart
I’ll be so far away…
There is no mutual pain
And only the quivering heart
On different sides of frustration
Meet the hope that will die
I was not afraid to confess my faintness
Time is stronger than me
You are stronger. You have the right to forget me
But not me, but not me
Ways of dismay that overgrown with oblivion
Endless wandering through the dreams
The dahlias don’t inspire me anymore
Let the past be left behind, somewhere far away
Dying light, flying bird
No place to hide, no place to hide for me
I never cared, yes I never cared
On whose grave your tears will flow
The coming days would be the last
I’m no longer inside your nightmare
Before I die, before you die, before we die
Will you remember me?
In loving memory…
5. Your Grievous Eden
In echoes of unearthly melodies
The shadows of the cross under my skin
Where are you… where are your planets of despair?
Where are you… where are you among them?
I don’t see the Sun… I don’t see the Sun
For the Sun is me… for the Sun is me
And my grave is prepared… my grave is prepared
For burial in your tears… in your tears
Your hands are free from my death
And your grievous Eden is calling me, calling me
Sweetness of a dew and tenderness of waiting
I am the image because I do not see you
…and among my hopes
There is a path to your planets, to your bliss
To your grievous Eden
Where is your mourning?
Where is your mourning inside my gloom?
The careless and haughty
Losing all the secrets
Forgotten about mysteries
Poison of frustration
There is nothing neither behind nor far
A soul filled with naїvety
Petrified of indifference
Like a barren and thrown away
Behold in me a tamed animal
Looking for caress in punishment
It’s torn pride among the serenades of poverty
It was my choice and payment for obedience
I don’t see the Sun… I don’t see the Sun
For the Sun is me… for the Sun is me
And my grave is prepared… my grave is prepared
For burial in your tears… in your tears
On the way to eternal bliss
Remember me, remember me!!!
Among those sculptures we will disappear
From your grievous Eden
6. To Eternal Bliss
Like a heavenly charlatan
Shuffling a deck of stars
I approach to eternal bliss
Forgetting your sacrifice for me
I would be one of them
I would condemn you
I would betray you
I would agree to a mite
For my welfare
I could not accept your sacrifice for me
Kaleidoscope of lies
All witnesses are dead
Do you remember?
Do you remember why?
I was too afraid
I wanted to live too much
But the Sun has risen…
Do you remember why?
I am enslaved
I was so afraid
I wanted to live so much
And I died…
To eternal bliss!!!
I would be one of them
I would condemn you
I would betray you
I would agree to a mite
And to eternal bliss, where there is no place for me
Remember me like a mother mourning to a dead child
I got scared when the nails were driven into you
Now, it’s too late. Please, take my fear!!!
7. O'Funeralia
Once it was alive
Nothing makes sense now
The memories evaporate
Gliding in time
We faded like the embers glow
Life will not return
There are no memories
Among the graves
Another dose of sedative
But it no longer hurts
Tomorrow will never come
Take this cup from me
Once it was alive, once it made sense
Among the flowering gardens
Once it was alive, once it made sense
Now there is nothing but ashes
Once it was alive
Like the eyes of a lamb
Embrace me if you can
Each of us is regrettable
With a clod of bitterness
When there is no regret
When nothing hurt
I searched in vain for your gaze
Among the cold walls of solitude
It was my last wish
No one will reach out from the void
No more strength to fight
Nothing makes sense now
Mom!!! I want to live so much…
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