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Bab Al On
1. Ad Babalonis Amorem Do Dedico Omnia Nihilo
The skull you are holding is your own
Every faint and bittersweet memory
Every hope and dream that went unacted
To think that we fit into such small spaces
The bitter wine that you taste is your own
Once fresh like a mountain stream, then a sweet and melodious wine
Now the bitter brew of love
Set aside for a special occasion
The breaths you were holding were not your own
Every awkward word or silence
Every fumbling gesture
They were Hers
And you shall not hold back one drop.
2. In the Beginning
In the beginning
I arose as a scream
Echoing out from a burning cranial cage.
Dwarfed by a world of incomprehensible structures
Aeons into their unfolding
Stretching out from unknowable ages
Infinitely beyond my grasp
Yet even they are but a grain of sand
Cast adrift in an ocean of utter nothingness
My Lord is the thunderbolt
The atom, the in-divisible, the point of ink
That set fire to the monkey’s skull
I am the searing light of consciousness
Radiating out of a screaming ape
Surging, shrieking for but a cosmic moment
Then forever to hold my peace
My Lady is the form, and the giver of form
The fertile nothingness that gave rise to the cyclopean structures
The sheet of paper to the dot of ink
I am the principle of union
The conscious meat machine
Object and subject
A screaming, cosmic ape
To rise amidst the confusion.
To comprehend little.
And to end.
3. Annihilation Mantra
4. Waters of Unravelling
These are the waters that house the stars
They are drops of dew from the Godhead
Corroding upwards through the ground
as water does in this strange place
Vibrating and coalescing into larger, ephemeral shapes.
Puddle to lake to sea to the world-ocean.
This is where I rose. From paradisiac protoplasm.
This is where I grew. In saintly symbiosis.
This is where I drew blood. My blood.
Unraveled my humanity. And became the No Man.
My bones shall stretch as spires from the seas, establishing a covenant
between the orderly heavens and the chaotic depths of man’s heart
which Adam in his Foolish Glory named the Underworld
My skull is a cup which encompasses and contains the seas of dream and phantasm
From which I shall drink merrily with each heaving breath that is gifted me
My name is five letters and six, and eight.
I have come to love and redeem the black earth through strife and ordeal.
Sword drawn, I have come for love’s sake, for the chance of union.
5. Bursting as Boils on the Backs of Slaves
Screaming mouths of silenced slaves and deposed kings
Are the trumpets heralding every birth since the dawn of our species
Would brother Thought save you from this fate? Or sister Faith?
Would you declare yourself enlightened, an ally to the lost?
While every thought, word or breath rises as fumes from the burning
cinders of the lives and dreams you have devoured
Simply by existing.
Love is union. To devour is to unite, to rip and tear – a form of love.
We are the gloriously abominable sons and daughters of slaves and tyrants.
Of stars and angels and beasts and nothingnesses.
Our coming into being requires neither grace nor pardon.
For we have come for Love’s sake. For the sake of Union.
6. The Lamb Speaks
I am the greatest of the deceivers, for my purity and innocence shall
seduce the pure and innocent, who but for me should come to the centre of the wheel.
The wolf betrayeth only the greedy and the treacherous; the raven
betrayeth only the melancholy and the dishonest.
But I am he of whom it is written: He shall deceive the very elect.
For in the beginning the Father of all called forth lying spirits that they
might sift the creatures of the earth in three sieves, according to the
three impure souls.
And he chose the wolf for the lust of the flesh, and the raven for the
lust of the mind; but me did he choose above all to simulate the pure
prompting of the soul.
Them that are fallen a prey to the wolf and the raven I have not
scathed; but them that have rejected me, I have given over to the wrath
of the raven and the wolf.
And the jaws of the one have torn them, and the beak of the other has
devoured the corpse. Therefore is my flag white, because I have left
nothing upon the earth alive. I have feasted myself on the blood of the
saints, but I am not suspected of men to be their enemy, for my fleece
is white and warm, and my teeth are not the teeth of one that teareth
flesh; and mine eyes are mild, and they know me not the chief of the
lying spirits that the Father of all sent forth from before his face in
the beginning.
(From A.C., “Vision and the Voice, the Cry of the 20th Aethyr”)
7. Agnus Dei
Agnus Dei
qui tollis peccata mundi
Agnus Dei
qui tollis peccata mundi
Agnus Dei
qui tollis peccata mundi
dona nobis pacem
8. Hour of Contempt
There will come a time
When even your happiness will be contemptible to you
When love, reason, knowledge and virtue
Will be empty and devoid of allure
All wretched self complacency
And nothing more.
This is the hour of contempt
The hour of self exultant
Never will you be closer to my light
It is the fire with a voice
A fresh and vigorous roar
Effortlessly cutting its way through the confusion of life
It knows what it detests
And through that contempt
Via Negativa
You may finally know yourself as you truly are.
This is the hour of contempt
The hour of self exultant
Never will you be closer to my light.
9. In the Heart of the World
I’ve tried to remember the touch
the rays of a sun
another kind of warmth
a voice, often lost in a familiar haze
a will and a nature, omnipresent gaze
But remembrance is an earthly deed,
clothed in words and concepts
And malleable neurons that carry the seed
Of reinterpretation and reimagination
It’s all a picture of a picture of a picture
And the voice grows ever fainter
And the touch grows ever fainter
And I lose my heart again and again
With strange people and in strange places
And wonder how I find myself in these unwelcoming shores
But then, as a bolt of lightning in the corner of my eye
When we were at the right place and at the right time
We found ourselves in the Heart of the World
Our minds and our bodies dancing to an unsingable tune
And I remember the voice I once heard
When I stood teary eyed and naked between the spheres
And opened my soul and my skull to let the Sun shine its rays upon my brain
And I laughed and I cried before normality set in.
Still, sometimes, when the stars are right
I can feel that touch, I can feel that light
When I somehow do something to deserve it.
10. Dies Irae
11. Abomination Gate
Open, open, the Gates of ON. The Great God ON. Open, open, the
Abomination Gate.
Her coiling thighs crushing every last drop of life from your spine
Babylon sprouts triumphant from the ruins of lost Jerusalem
Every atom of your being annihilated by the descent of Her abyssal Love.
Open, open, speak it into being
Life drinks death
Death eats life
Open, Open, a Gate risen in the hysteria of fearful men
Will you give your all, will you give every drop of you
And cast the scattered ashes into the void, into the abyss.
Following a faint voice, a single strain of sound in the cacophony
And hope against hope. A final throw of the dice.
Bathed in annihilation’s light.
Remolded and refashioned.
Abominable Child, inhuman Master of the Temple.
Child of void and Saintsblood. Child of starlight and dust.
Joining its kin in the City of Pyramids.
It speaks:
We are abominable to the eyes of Ioannes because we choose our love
of the world as a defiant act of heroic transgression.
We choose Babylon over Jerusalem.
Having seen the face of the Creator upon the waters in the beginning
of All, we chose to love the work of the pen above the hand that wielded it.
The Lord our God himself chose Babylon over Jerusalem at the
moment of creation, at His moment of ecstasy
Through Her, He transcends Himself
So, open, open, the Gates of ON. The Great God ON. Open, open, the
Abomination Gate.
Her coiling thighs crushing every last drop of life from your spine
Babylon sprouts triumphant from the ruins of lost Jerusalem
Every atom of your being annihilated by the descent of Her abyssal Love.
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