Aphonic Threnody
Of Loss and Grief

1. Despondency

The world out there is blurring
Future collapses and dreams with it

There’s no salvation, there’s no tomorrow
All out there has been condemned
Endlessly falling in the dark
And you falling with it

Paranoid (paranoid)
Depressed (depressed)
Mind tormented
Nightmares’ nest

Despondency eating your world
Despair mantle surrounding your soul
The world out there is no more
Nowhere left to run

Facing the truth by staring at the gloom
Your eyes blinded by the impending doom
Nothing left to say
Nothing to scream anymore

Voiceless – cries – in your head
Begging – for you – to be dead
Endless woe
Stench – of lifeless – hopelessness

2. Life Stabbed Me Once Again

There’s no happiness in this world
We try to preserve but we’re just able to destroy
Promises are words made of thin air
Grains of sand falling away through open fingers
Smiles are like salt on wounds, wounds that won’t heal

Life has twisted the knife once again
Life stabbed me once again

While we’re looking for forgiveness
Trying to find a meaning in all this
You feel those hands you’ve trusted holding you steady
And a cold spike piercing your back

Life has twisted the knife once again
Life has betrayed me once again
Promises are fading memories
Grains of sand falling away through open fingers

There’s no happiness in this world

3. All I've Loved

No need to hide anymore
Out from the cave I’ve been hidden in for too long...
(So don’t) look (look at me like I’m a ghost) like a ghost
(Even) there’s nothing (there is nothing still alive where I’m from) where I’m from
(Battles) made me stronger (made me stronger day by day) day by day
(And there are deeper scars, where you won’t see them)

Still tasting blood in my mouth
I got used to eating just dust, like gravel grinding my teeth

Standing up – standing up – after every clash – after every clash
I’ve just found, death all around – death all around [me]
Surviving (surviving losses and crying till unconscious) till unconscious
(I’m the closest being to nothingness)
(I’ve nothing to lose anymore)

I’ve emptied myself of all emotions
I’ve killed them all deep within

(All I’ve loved)
I’m the closest being to nothingness
I’ve nothing to lose anymore

(All I’ve loved is lost)
(All I’ve loved is lost)

4. Lies

Visions of a living darkness
Monsters coming to rape your soul
Shadows moving from wall to wall
Suffocating prisoners of a deep slumber

Colors slowly fading
Leaving room for obscure shades of vermillion
Patterns like blood, like gore
Like tortured corpses hanging from black ropes

Sanctuary of terror
Horrors away confined
Like secrets locked in forgotten closets
Dead’s whom life has been denied

On wings (on wings) of crows and ravens (of crows and ravens)
Traveling towards nothingness
Hostage of the flowing of time
I cannot distinguish one day or another
It’s flowing and I can hear it around me
While slowly erases particles of what my eyes feel as reality

I thought I had everything a man can wish to have
But my hands were empty and my heart was cold
I thought my eyes could challenge the sun
My blindness is the result of my braveness

I thought I could stand over the top of the highest mountain
But the fall showed just how fragile my bones were
I thought I could survive death and live forever
But my carcass is the answer to that dream of eternity

And now nothing is left, I don’t have anyone to help me forget
How stupidity has been made man
How uselessness has been made flesh

And voices out there
Like moaning of infants separated from the womb
And still, I feel my eyes turning blind
In an endless mirroring of pain
Convulsions make me feel alive
But there’s no life because you know it’s just a lie

Immortality of the human thoughts
Just a stain of ink on white inanimate sheets
Just a sequence of sounds
Like tales from father to son...
Creation of emotions to justify a stillborn life

And we keep telling stories
To people around us and to ourselves
Trying to escape those shades on the walls
That suffocating slumber which keeps us prisoners
Trying to color the world out there
To make it look less miserable of how it really is
We keep lying, not to think we are dying

5. Red Spirits in the Water

Something is moving escaping my body
Powerless, embraced by water like dead by casket

...Water, crystal clear, turning slowly vermilion...
...I feel it...
...I feel it, it’s abandoning me...
...I feel it...
I feel it
...Life so dear leaving me there...
Life so dear ...leaving me there...
While a whole existence is running to attend my death
Adrift (adrift), floating while my limbs are turning frozen cold
I can see red spirits in the water, putting asunder body and soul
Crimson waters, self-judgment altar
Scarlet spirits in the water, euthanasia worshipers

Electric moons and stars guide my path
Watching my crossing from a ceiling-like sky

While the last drops are falling
I feel I’m stepping where there’s no more chance to say goodbye

6. A Thousand Years Sleep


Eyes can’t keep open any longer
Nothing there to be seen
Needles thrusted through broken gaze, forever blinded
Pleasantly crippled and abandoned to darkness
Rejecting consciousness to escape an overwhelming truth
It’s not painful, it’s like silently falling
Like silently falling deep in a thousand years sleep
Tragedies out there, and endless despair
Longing for a distant home, a place to belong

Eyes are too tired to keep watching the world’s decay
Better close them forever – no more being awake

Like falling in the deep, abandoned while drowning
Without fighting back astray, plunging down in
A thousand of years of silence, like a corpse in grave of sadness
A thousand years of sleep in absolute blackness

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